Description

Featuring one of Dad's few self-portraits.

Throughout modern times, as early as the 1500s, but likely even further back in some less recognizable form, artists have created self-portraits. Self-portraits were the Selfies of the times, and today we carry that same tradition forward with our smartphones.

Who wouldn't want to see themselves and share it with others? Are we not beautiful? And this is certainly part of the motivation for artists as well.

But I feel artists have other motives too, and I am confident that was the case for Dad.

As he shared with me in a 2002 interview, “I always want to be Expressive. The more the better. If tragic, make it more so; if happy, even dogs should smile; if the bridge is large, make it gigantic; and if the flowers are bending and reaching, make them dance.” These were his feelings about all his creations, and about all art, and this self-portrait is no different.

Here, in ecru and gray watercolor paint, he captures his mood of the moment. I love that flyaway hair and his unshaven, slim face-Just enough detail to tell a story.

REPRESSION & EXPRESSION

In 1952, Mom and Dad were still in Hungary. There was great turmoil as Soviet Communism took hold, scattering old norms into new ways. Dad had reason to be concerned because his father was a 34-acre landowner and schoolmaster of high regard. His land had fruit tree orchards, vegetable fields, tobacco fields, a small vineyard, horses, various livestock and a large house–all forever thrown to the wind. Mom’s family was poor, so they were a better fit for the communist dictates, but nobody was beyond suspicion, and everybody felt watched.

So, in this painting, I sense fear and loathing, yet confidence, because no matter the world around him, Dad knew who he was–An artist–and he never changed.

And I feel it fitting that Dad’s astrological sign is Gemini because, to his family, he was as much a husband, father, friend, and mentor, as he was an artist to himself, and he shared himself with the world, COMPLETELY.

Through My Father's Eyes

Here's a song I created to memorialize my time with Dad.

Song: "Lost Without You,"

Artist: JTAR